Early in 2010, I had a conversation with my awesome friend Millie that went approximately as follows: Me: My life sucks. Millie: Wait, I know why! Me: Because I’m a fuckup? Millie: No, your Saturn Return is coming! Me: WUT. At which point sane, sensible Millie demanded my birthdate and birthplace, wandered off to do some unknown calculations, and informed me that I was currently IN it. August ’09 to November ’10, evidently. I do not believe in such things. But here was this concept, this perfect concept, being handed to me. Just after I had begun turning my life… [Read More]

We started out on parallel paths, me a few steps behind you. The terrain was rocky, but quite charming. And we had each other for encouragement, you to reassure me that the path continued on, me to remind you to keep going forward. Even as the paths began to diverge, we were still within view, still close enough to shout across, still feeling the comfort of a shared experience. Then one day, my path turned sharply to the left, and as I looked across the growing distance, I could see that yours had veered to the right. You were a… [Read More]

A restaurant. I wasn’t eating. She slipped, and he reached out to steady her. Logic told me that he was there to see me. Intuition told me that he’d rather it be her. I was correct. A coffee shop. I shivered. It was cold, that was all it was. He placed his hands over mine. A restaurant. I couldn’t eat, but I could drink. Four days until I might lose him, unless the most tentative of plans worked out. Somehow, they did. Somehow, it didn’t matter. A restaurant. I looked him over awkwardly. I told myself no. I just wanted… [Read More]

This is a question that I’ve asked before when I’m bored and want to discuss silly random things: Let’s say there existed a machine that would spit out the names of everybody who has ever been attracted to you. Would you use it? Would you want to know? The follow up questions always come: does it tell you the degree of attraction? does it tell you whether the attraction is past or present? does it include passing-by strangers who only thought “I’d hit that”? and so on and so forth, my answer to which is, set the specifics however you… [Read More]

To my beloved: I saw the girl of your dreams today. It wasn’t actually her, of course, it was just someone like her. I didn’t even realize that she existed until I saw her, or rather her facsimile. I knew then that this was the girl that you were meant to be with, whenever and wherever you should find her. I don’t know how I knew. The only clues I have are her appearance – I can see her, but I don’t know her. It’ll have to be left up to you to pick her out from others like her…. [Read More]

“The next station is King. King station.” He’d always intimidated me, a little bit. I knew that under his arrogant facade there was somebody vulnerable and scared. But he didn’t want me to know that, so I pretended I didn’t. And truth be told, sometimes I forgot. He was that good at it. It never could have lasted. He’d never have let anybody get too close. “The next station is Queen. Queen station.” It had been a much more innocent time. It made me smile to think about it. Long before things got complicated, there was ice cream at the… [Read More]

Say you’re having a bad day. Well now, that’s all right, tomorrow is a new day. But what if tomorrow’s another bad day? That’s all right, the weekend is coming. And what will the weekend bring? Plans with friends? A hot date? Quality time with the family? Maybe there’s none of that. But that’s all right, you can have some time to rest. It’s no big deal. Just a rough few days at work. Maybe then you lose your job. Well, that’s no good. But it’s all right, you have a lovely home to go to and ride it out…. [Read More]

It had been an epic tale. Battles, journeys, knights and thieves. Several evil witches, two good witches, and one witch that was pretending to be evil but was secretly good, or perhaps the other way around, she was a touch forgetful. Three monsters (only one of which was fuzzy), a fire-breathing dragon, and the incident with the sheep that was very kindly left out of the final manuscript. All in all, the Prince and the Princess were exhausted, and very much looking forward to a nice rest. “Couldn’t we go on a vacation?” asked the Princess. “My bed in that… [Read More]

His name was Stuart McAllister and he was the best boyfriend Evelyn could have ever wanted. Their romance started over a lunch in early June. He, of course, was not actually present. Instead, Clarice Millicent from the office down the hall was present. Clarice Millicent was quite loud and had a lot of hair and smelled of slightly molding roses. Clarice Millicent was insistent that she had two first names and must be addressed by both of them at all times. Clarice Millicent did not like that Evelyn had been single for the six months that they had known each… [Read More]

I had a very… difficult… dream last night. It was not about elephants. But let’s pretend that it was. Imagine that you have a friend. Your friend wants, more than anything in the world, to have an elephant. You find this amusing at first. Maybe you decide to be a good friend and take him to the zoo to see some elephants. He thinks you’re awesome for this. You’re not really interested in elephants, but he can have his thing, and you can have yours. No worries. All is good. But, after a while, your friend is perhaps not being… [Read More]