What was I thinking?

I don’t want to write. Look, I gave up this writing thing years and years ago. Back when I was all young and pure and innocent and wrote stories about dream-worlds and sunflower-people and crazy chicks in mental institutions who kept knives under their pillows. Well, really, there was only one crazy chick in a mental institution who kept a knife under her pillow. I imagine she stabbed the rest of them, were there any others. That would be the logical thing to do.

But I do not write pure, innocent, homicidal stories these days. Sometimes I write NaNoWriMo novels. They are very bad, as NaNoWriMo novels tend to be. Sometimes I write about knitting, I have a blog for this, but it’s not so much writing as it is typing profanities while abusing capslock. I am excellent at typing profanities. I am completely confident in my skills as a typer of profanities. I am not quite as confident in my skills as a writer.

Possibly because I do not write.

I want to write! (Yes. I know. I JUST SAID- okay, shh.) So I will start a blog! And write things! Short stories! Ramblings! Friday Flash! Journal entries! Bits of novels! Anything I want! THIS IS A BRILLIANT IDEA OH MY GOD I AM SO EXCITED LET ME JUST GO REGISTER A NAME (okay, don’t even start with me about the name, I don’t want to hear it) AND THEN I WILL SET UP A BLOG AND OOH I MUST MAKE A LAYOUT FOR IT OH I KNOW I WILL SPEND SEVERAL DAYS CODING A WORDPRESS TEMPLATE FROM SCRATCH INSTEAD OF, YOU KNOW, ACTUALLY WRITING SOMETHING AND-

- and we have a problem. Which is that I’ve now got a spiffy new writing blog and I don’t know what to write. Or how to write. Or whether I am any good at writing. Or whether I even want to write. I do! I don’t! I… I… I want pie.

So I’m flailing about all, need moar WordPress plugins! must test layout! can I integrate with Twitter? Facebook? what about my RSS feed? I AM NOT READY TO LAUNCH A BLOG. FFS, Cyn, none of that matters, nobody cares, just write something. Anything. Yes, even a post about how you’re afraid to start writing. Words. On page. Or computer screen. Whatever. Do it now. Do it now.

Well, all right then. So please do forgive the lack of perfection. I’M BUSY WRITING. ABOUT NOT WRITING.